Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
