Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
