Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
