How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
