1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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