My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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