His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
