My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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