I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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