i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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