im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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