I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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