My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize