Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
