Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
