he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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