Soap is not a condiment
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
