Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
