I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
