You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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