it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize