I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
