remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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