ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I have already put on my inside pants.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
