we're blogging at a bar
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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