The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
