I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
