My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
What drink are we having for lunch?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
