So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
