google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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