That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
