Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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