Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
