The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
