Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
