Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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