Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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