It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
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