Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
