apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
