I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
