Plan B is the new Plan A
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
