Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
