17 year olds will be the death of me.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
