i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
