I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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