My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
