her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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