Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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