I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
