whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
