this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
