Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
