I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I am available for nakedness
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
