Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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