but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
