Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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