Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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