I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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