i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
