3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
