a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
