I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize