guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
