Its about making memories worth repressing
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
