is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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